To the Risen King

2009-04-14T03:22:00.000-07:00

Glazing upon the sky, being in awe of the beauty of the creations. To Him, I will trust upon who is unfailing. On the contrast, self seems to be a vulnerable being. Tripping and falling endlessly. How I long to be like Him.

Days pass, earth continues to rotate, not stopping to wait for any. Self seems to be trap in a dilemma. Should i go forward, confront then move on? Or allow things to remain as it is?

Storms come and go, but the foundation of the old building was never really tested. Ages have passed but still it remains standing tall, giving the shelter to the poor and weak. Times fly and the young learnt to move according to times, giving no appreciation to the old building that sees through generations. Are we a generation of the ungrateful wanting what we think well or the humble ones who know how to give thanks and be grateful to what we have?

Time torments people. How can one truly use it to the advantage or succumb and be defeated by it? Heart seeks for just a little more. Surging appeal for a warm and cozy fire, but is it the right fervor?

Farewell

2009-04-11T11:40:00.000-07:00

The Sun progresses according to His will,
Things changes as we mature in age.
Brand new start for a brighter path?
Or a road downhill?
Memory prompting fresh in mind,
Longing for the days of the good old past.
What can I do to keep my hopes secure?
How can I preserve till the time is right?
I will wrestle, but still I will wait.
I will feel lost, but I will persevere.
For my heart has been stolen by You alone.

May the journey strengthen our souls, till the time is ripe.

2009-04-02T13:15:00.000-07:00

Darkness creeps into the vacant room, light seems no longer visible. Loneliness vacant the soul, left with fears and doubts. Veil of secrecy conceal only the surface, supression merely restraint. Changes simply crack the brittle glass. Beneath the icy cold surface awaits a warm fire burning? Failed conformation or true transformation in progress?

LUCAS

2009-04-02T13:03:00.000-07:00

from dust we are and to dust we return.. how true it is, we ourselves do knoe.. much i long this will not happen, o Lord i'm fearful.. Bless this firstborn for You are a compassionate God, how much I long to c him growing up. Heal him, save him, for he is young. How wonderful You have created him, bestow Your blessing upon him.

week begining 9th March.

2009-03-10T01:19:00.000-07:00

As i sit down and pondering and listening to worship songs, i began to reflect on my walk with God. Honestly, i have not being doing well for the past week. Btw, time seems fast and is going three years le. Thru high and low i have experience, really let me see alot of truth in life. Time realli test. Remember in the past when i came to church with i try out mentality, no doubts things changes along the way. Thru this way often I may felt weak and unable to sustain, but still He did it with me again and again.. haha.. Now the time has come again, i maybe feeling fearful, guess is just part and parcel of life. During these few years, many come and go. Till now, sadness still dwell in me for those who left. However, i am also happy for those who were placed in my life by God and is God that make the relationship.

Anyway yesterday met up hannah!!! haha.. so funny sia.. The way she release stress is truely her.. lol. Went mad with her, sad with her also. True sad to hear that she intend to go mongolia that means 1 less person to relate with.. But still happy to hear that she going for the kingdom. Being random here, NYP indeed is capable to send out and sends alot of people out. haha. Will I go out and be the next one? haha.. I really dun know... Bt i don't mind going?

No doubt, there is things hindering me. Just wanna lift it up to the Lord and pray that my heart desire will be in accord with His will. Often i preach or share that that we should live our lives around God's will but honestly i find it hard to surrender it. But i will. Afterall time and again He has never shortchange me. So i boast in Him for that shall be eternal.

Die le la, my crybaby nature coming back le.. haha. =x I realise that compassion for people is there, but at the same time, this insecurity of mine is also gripping me tightly time after time. Just on saturday, i cried through out the whole worship. Know the reason? just be cause i heard from Daniel that Joshua is emo-ing, may not come for service. Although time and again God did reveal to me. but tears and sorrow just come in.. I wanna make a difference in this life changing ministry but really felt limited as well? haha..

There are times i did ponder of moving on time or early. But reasons do overwhelm me, both biblical and selfish ones. Ohh, i remember telling God if He just want me to go to NS group to serve and then move on i rather go adults or my preferred destination PSPT. haa. Am one who think alot. I also thought of contributing to the next coming ESS as a member in NS group(the next stage of life). Know why? I finally break free from my selfish reasons of not wanting to serve in stage perfomance(dance and acting) le. haha. *claps* =x

I wanna be 'David', a man seeking after God's heart. But really often i felt that i failed God. Still Lord i wanna sing your praise.. =D Jesus may You be lifted high.. I really love You with all my heart. May i sing Your will be done, my life you use.. To You my God!!

Myself

2009-03-07T08:03:00.000-08:00

Did some personality test find it quite true.. haha.

Your view on yourself:You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education:Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

2009-03-06T10:00:00.000-08:00

Lord I am with You,
Lead and bring me to Your promise land.
I'm waiting to claim my lot,
the rightfully mine.
Don't make me wait too long,
But if that's happens,
I will wait.
Wait for the right time,
And when it comes,
I will rejoices with you.
Tears of joy overflows,
So Lord may you light my way.

2009-03-04T05:39:00.000-08:00

todae did little thinx. decided to skip both soccer in e morning and oso nite activity alth i love to go.. And wan to go. However, nt becoz of tired. Enjoy the noon with some bros and sis in the central. thru out e dae i seems to c a simple fact.. life will still go on no matter what... being random.. haha.. thinx dun go according to ur wae often. This wk is cool aft all.. having sufficent rest and fun. drank quite alot. thkfully i am sustained thru by grace.. some were ask to do weird thinx as dared. truths are often nt so surprising when they are spoken. being random again smth i indeed tink alot. keeping thinx 2 myself 2. am guilty of being a superficial actor in life... =D May seriously dislike or disapprove one individual yet act as if nothinx has happen. haa..

seriously troubled & uncertain, even abt self...

From dust it arise.

2009-02-26T21:18:00.000-08:00

My heart sank just like titanic sank into the ocean. Is life more than a timeline of conflicts arising from dust? When you have no love in your heart. There will be no dreaming, no story... Nothing.. Can love be evermore expressive. Complex is the feeling when things are done behind. Life can be much simpler without such issues. One fear not about self but how things may develop as the fire spreads wild. May rain fall upon this land.

My heart

2009-02-18T07:53:00.000-08:00

Ohh what a truth.. Men realli are good in concealing their feelings. Outwardly may seems fine but the truth is? Am just guilty to be one of them. Deep in my heart, yet shallow outwardly? Have fallen for smth. Deep in me longs to find out, but yet do know e consequences. How i wish i can know and be selfish. It seems like i am startign of a puzzle and doing it day and night but realised that the puzzle has a missing piece. The sense of wanting to find and complete. Or rather should i just leave tt puzzle aside in the 1st place.. haha.. Lord I pray for myself.. May i be just like Jacob. But may my choice be fruitful.. Lord unveil it accordingly.. I will wait, I will try even if it's hard. Lord I pray for your blessings.

Doubt

2009-02-13T21:08:00.000-08:00

As time passes, there's always time to move on with different stages of life and often at this time it's hard to let go off.. aft all is 3 yrs nw.. Deep in my heart, long for time to fly ever faster. Or i wish to be freeze and b awake after 2 more years. Can't imagine how things will be like by then. I fear, i'm in doubt. Will it be in this very way? How will the things b? Will i last? Will time drift thinx further?

My feelings

2009-02-11T23:39:00.000-08:00

I'm seriously lost.. dun realli knoe what i want.. or rather i knoe what i want bt am afraid? I'm certain of my feelings. Lord i need you to meet my needs too.. My inner desires are tormenting me.. yearn for it but the more it comes the more i'm afraid. Set me free!!! In the power of your name!! May i rejoices with a cheerful heart. Dun wan to appear cheerful but may not be so.

*Bleeding deep inside*

Lord my prayer is for You to preserve my desires and all till the time has come. May time proves to be a lasting test. I lift it up to You. Fully to You. I shall trust even though i fear. Insecurity is gripping me hard.. I can't breathe. I nid your focus, your everythinx.

MY life

2009-02-07T09:44:00.000-08:00

This whole week have been evaluating my life.. from private to public. from spiritual to non-spiritual. sometimes realli wonder am i a man of honor in front of ppl. Life dun seems to b simple at times. or maybe i make it too complex? thru this wk, experience different thinx in life.. i dun deny tt i may look down on self quite alot.. nid 2 understand God's acceptance at times.. realli wanna c e thinx unseen.. God i wanna trust in U bt i fails at times.. how i wish thinx can b according to my timing. bt I will do wad is rite..

To U my Lord

2009-02-06T08:47:00.000-08:00

Your Name be lifted, my life You used.
With all I am, Your glory be shone.
Here I am, dwell in me.
For who you are, I will follow.
In my circumstances, may You be glorified.
In hardship, I rejoices.
Though I know not, but I trust.
Lord i trust You, may all be lifted.

God realli wanna trust my saturday to you.. Really need you to be in control. Wan you onli. nothin more..

A learning day

2009-01-31T09:19:00.000-08:00

I really experience alot today.. really wanna grow more.. thus, being humbled to the core.. haha.. is ok.. true enough i dun lyk tt la.. bt since i'm willing to undergo. pray that end pt will nt b far.. Today God spoke to me and i c a nid for a pen and paper. haha.. so that when i tok no nid 2 reply so anxious. Btw, did not tok any long conversion today. haa.. embrace a hectic week to come. End results: get over all these tests and projects with excellence, grow in humility and patience. God i ask for time to meet my people.. Help me oh Lord.. dun wanna sae much.. hehe.. 'Embrace them all. More of You, less of me. Feeling more on water than before.. =D

Medical Check Up and etc

2009-01-30T10:01:00.001-08:00

Had my check up done todae.. didn't knoe how 2 get there thus took a cab.. guess e amt? amazing 26 bucks.. LOL. Just ERP is already $6.50 at CTE. Singapore is so rich just with ERP.. LOL. realised the service standard there is highly inconsistent.. 2 extreme ends.. what i need to improve i guess.. The whole process took me close to 4 hrs.. kind conned!!! haa, still tell me abt 1 1/2 hrs.. =.=" Nothinx much to complain after all..

Amazingly i found a locker key, dun know why end up with me(long story), i blur blur open e locker then realised nt mine.. found a phone.. kinda tempted to take.. but end of day i didn't.. haha.. so Holy rite..? at 1st was stun how come i gt 2 keys.. haha. pass the found key to the counter, a indian woman actually. She can't understand my english till the extent i need to do hand signs.. Wa!! stunning sia.. Tink she realli need to go for english class.. and perhaps communications skills oso?

Rush back to school. didn't eat.. kinda dizzy actually bt gt skit and no choice la.. finsih e skit and the lect. i told janice law i will b late for make up immediately after lect, coz i go eat.. Guess wad? She sae NVM, GO BUY AND EAT IN HER CLASS. was literally stunned again!! I didn't repay her kindness actually, shoot her thru out e tutorial.. LOL. She say sugar give people energy to tink(coz i can ans a qn she ask and i just ate), i jux shoot her is nt sugar is carbohydrates. Whenever she shoot anyone in class, i just shoot her back.. haha.. tink she's with alot of 'holes'.

Wanted to meet wai kang bt failed, 1stly coz didn't know gt make up tut till v late then aft tt they wanna do project coz deadline is weds. so no choice again.. V sorry abt tt to wai kang.. realli nid 2 repack my schedule i guess.. Thkful tt aft this coming wk no more proj.. haa..

Went Wei hong hse, didn't realli have a fun time actually bt i still enjoy e tok and crap. Didn't enjoy coz of e turnout? bt kinda expected.. Realised tt people are more and more self focus le.. bt still thkful for WH to invite us over.. haha.

Hectic.. Chaotic..

2009-01-29T07:24:00.000-08:00

Wad a life, haha.. realised that my life seems to be complexed by projects and tests.. Realli driven crazy by them, pray that they can end fast. but that will mean my fear is coming.. MAIN EXAMS!! kinda nt ready i guess.

As time draws nearer, my poly life is coming to an end. can't help but to ponder abt the next move.. NS. Do know that it is a make or break phrase for Christians, thus all e more i'm worried bt nt becoz i dun trust God, bt rather dun trust myself.. haha.. pretty ironic.. =d

Furthermore, realised that my NS may clash with SIM starting sch term which is in 1 july.. realli pray that it won't clash.. if nt i realli wasting almost a yr sia.. To make thinx worse, SIM is part time.. hai.. troublesome sia.. haha.. Shall c what is coming up..

Realli realised that what i can do nw in e campus is very limited, due to sch work and project work. How??? what can i do? >.< Being random, recently awoken my fatherly instinct.. haha.. realli wish to hav my own kids and a happi family somehow.. Bt do know that it's nt God's timing nw, thus nid 2 wait.. bt can't help to ask, how long will it be? and who will it be? =s

Mani issues unresolved but 1 source for it all.. Reality is my feelings do fail me, can't help but to doubt at times.. Nonetheless, i will move on with it.. and his directions shall be reveal along the way.. Realli pray for my heart desires and being in Christ..

Why do i reset up a new blog

2009-01-28T08:04:00.000-08:00

kinda surprised by myself why i set up a blog again.. aft all tt hav happened which i had laid them aside.. guess e onli answer i can give now is that this will be a place where my blessings, hurts, emotions and expressions be.. may this place be pleasing to God too..

HI

2009-01-28T07:26:00.001-08:00

Welcome Back to Blogging!! *claps*